The fidget cube of decadentdream

HUGE LIST of ADHD Facts and tips

I have struggled with intense and severe ADHD symptoms my entire life.
I want to offer as much advice as I can with all the experience I have from living with it well into adulthood. These may not all help, but I find many of them to work for myself or others(when I'm able to do them, of course, which sometimes I mess up lol)! Consider that even if you don't feel an ADHD diagnosis is accurate for you, if you experience ADHD behaiviors you're trying to manage this still may be useful information!

Don’t drink alcohol. Causes brain fog and it can negatively interact with medications. Alcohol can even cause ADHD-like symptoms in non-ADHD people
Do Cardio before you need to do stuff that requires sitting. It helps you focus.
Use text-to-speech generators to help you read webpages/books.
Using "transitional activities" such as washing your hands or grabbing a drink of water, can help you transition from one task to another, even if your first task was just sitting and not doing what you wanted to do.
If you're overwhelmed by the task you want to be doing, and cannot start, just do the first step involved. If that requires going to a separate room, just go in there. If it involves first setting down your phone, or turning off your TV, just let that one first step be your focus. Don't feel obligate to complete the task, or to even complete it well, instead focus on simply making any progress whatsoever. If you need to shower, hang out in the bathroom, or just get your clean clothes ready, even if that's all you do at first, there's nothing wrong with inching through until you reach your limit, and eventually it will get much easier to get these things done.
You shouldn't do your most dreaded task first. Work up momentum! This is the same with drawing, you draw everything that feels easy to draw, and the rest afterwards. A task unfinished is better than a task never began. Usually, once you get going on doing stuff you get more energy with each small task. Once the big task comes, you're no longer treading through mud to get to what needs to be done.
Schedule EVERYTHING and consider doing so on a calendar on either a wall or the top of a desk. When you get older, you HAVE to actually make plans to be social and maintain friendships. Make sure you write everything down on this one main spot so you can have a good visual of what needs to be done each day. From cleaning days, to bill payments, appointments, paydays, grocery shopping days, and more. Make yourself a rule where everything that you might need to remember gets written in here or on a sticky note on top of here.
Every day, upon waking up or whenever you're awake for the day, make it a point to check said calendar from previous. Even if you already know what it says, make it a habit to throw your eyes on that thing. You may want to take a photo with your phone so you can see it when you're away, or take this moment at the beginning of your day to write a daily to-do list to carry with you or look at on your phone. Make a system that is as simple and easy as possible, nothing complex. If you need to set alarms, do so librally so it's nothing you have to keep checking the clock for.
Don't be afraid to schedule something that doesn't have a certain deadline or obligation. Maybe you want to visit the library sometime for fun, but never get around to doing it. This is because instead of specifying a date, you just said "sometime". Find a day that you know you could actually do what you want to do, even if it's a task for at home like a house cleaning or watching a movie you bought. There's no reason to feel guilty for not completing the task, but it's able to be prepared for, remembered, and prioritized through your schedule. This is the same for when someone says the wishy-washy "we should totally hang out sometime", you can shoot back with a "when? I'm free Sunday, Monday night, and Wednesday. Or when can I call you to figure out a time?" Don't let things hang in the air to be lost to no one making a move. You will regret it much more than any regret of making someone uncomfortable that didn't actually want to spend time with you. Don't be afraid to schedule social phone calls (along with nonsocial of course) to people such as family members or friends, there's nothing wrong with starting a routine in your week or month of reaching out to them. They'll appreciate that you think about them often and that they can rely on your continued contact!
Keep things at eye level (Especially notes/todo lists).
Be stupidly early to places just in case you forget something
Stretch once in awhile.
Take a deep breath. No, seriously. When you feel like your brain is going too fast, or you feel the tension rising, take in a deep breath and let it out slowly. It can never hurt, and if you can remember to do it the first couple times, you'll have an easier time remembering later. Do this as much as you need. It's like a soft reset button, or a small jump start.
If you aren’t diagnosed: Actually get a diagnosis and a therapeutic programme that works for you. You want to spend the rest of your life wondering or do you want to learn to manage this the right way, from real experts? Make yourself a plan to get this done....write it down in that calendar I won't shut up about lol!
Buy a whiteboard to sketch out things when your mind starts going into overdrive. Or, grab a fidget cube, something you enjoy fidgeting with (within reason lol, don't scare the kids or catch a case!), even small magna boards, buddha boards, play-doh, silly putty, stress balls, WHATEVER you need that your hands like that works for you. If you're like me, I have a small collection of things like these, and I don't regret getting a single one! There are some very interesting things out there too, and usually don't cost too much.
Have a designated spot for every single item. If you can't do everything make sure the most important things. I NEVER lose my wallet or keys because I do this, and I own many purses! You have to make sure it's an area you'll see and can grab quickly. I reccomend wall hooks, with clear bags for anything that doesn't hook on it's own. Consider a "station" near the door you leave from to house your checklist of calendar checking, keys and wallet grabbing, and anything else you need for the day to ALWAYS go there. You may want to make a verion of this for your bathing routine in your bathroom.
Have a “misc” basket in each room. If you’re truly unable to put something away, put it in the basket. Have a designated period of time, once a week, when your sole priority is to put everything away, all at once.
In order to not get overwhelmed when cleaning, remember there are only 5 things you need to tackle: Trash, Laundry, Dishes, Putting things back that have a place, Put things in a pile that don’t have a place.
Embrace chaos. Let your brain get distracted when you’re cleaning. Cleaning dishes and stop spare trash? It’s fine go clean that and then get back to the dishes
Listen to podcasts/audiobooks when doing chores. There are also recordings of livestreams and retro commercial compilations on YouTube.
Stimulation is the key to getting back your energy at those random times you lose it. Listen to some music, stand up and walk around, drink some water, change where you're sitting, etc, can help you bounce back from the dragging feeling.
Consider making a playlist of content to listen to or to have on in the background for when you need to get stuff done.
Keep important items in visible and convenient locations. e.g: Take pills when you eat? Keep your bottle beside your table where you eat.
Get a Tile. Bluetooth GPS trackers that are a game changer for ADHD people that lose keys/wallets.
Use voice assistants. “Remind me to do X tomorrow at Y time."
Keep forgetting your lunch? Put your keys on it. That way you can’t leave without your lunch.
Count your steps as you walk into a new room. It’ll help you remember why you entered that room. It gives you something to focus on but it’s not too much that you’ll get distracted. (This is similar to many forms of counting meditations too.)
Put appointments in your calendar 10-20 minutes earlier than the actual appointment
Set timers for activites you hyperfocus on. BUT set the timer for X minutes less than the task takes. (Give yourself time to wrap up whatever you’re working on)
Disable all your notifications on your phone except for essential apps (Texting, Voicemail, Calendar)
If you can’t stop yourself from answering that text/email/IM right away but don’t actually have time to deal with it, tell the person you’ll respond when you get a minute.
If you have an Android: Put a widget from your todo list app on your home screen so it’s the first thing you see
Use the pomodoro technique for everything. It’s great having a break to look forward to.
Lie to yourself. You’ll tell myself that you're just going to unload one dish from the dishwasher. Once you’ve started, you’ll at least unload a few, and maybe clean the whole kitchen.
Understand that FUTURE YOU IS STILL YOU. If you think you’ll do something later, understand that future you is still you. Future you isn’t more likely to muster up the desire to do the work. f you don’t have the motivation to do it in the next 24 hours then future you probably won’t either.
Reward yourself when you get things done. Positive Reinforcement is good and you’ll feel like getting more things done.
Set a time to do work, and a time to relax; that way you don’t feel guilty about relaxing during the time you set aside for yourself.
Don’t feel bad about sucking at school/work. You’ll get better as you learn more strategies for coping with ADHD.
Use writing/journaling as cognitive therapy to defuse emotional history. Even if you just scribble on the page in anger.
Write a reverse todo-list. Write down the things you have accomplished for the day. That way you won’t feel overwhelmed and it’ll make you feel better.
Start working on letting go of shame. It depresses your motivation and only makes things worse. You wouldn’t shame someone in a wheelchair for not getting things done, your difficulty is in your brain instead of your legs but it’s no less real. You're doing what you can, and if people don't get it,then they're just not your kinda people. And that's okay.
Put your phone on the other side of the room and make your alarm super loud. Gets you out off bed and will make you turn it off so you don’t wake other people up.
If you want to sleep 5 more minutes, turn your light on first. You'll wake up easier after those 5 minutes are up. Standing also helps.
Change your thermostat so the temperature goes down an hour before bedtime and gets warmer 30 minutes before you wake up. The cooler temperatures get your body to sleep and the warmer temperatures help you wake up
It’s okay to be in a room with people and just let people breathe. You don’t need to fill the silence.
When having a conversation or learning something, repeat every word the person says in your head. It’ll help you not drift off as much. It also makes it so you’ll interrupt people less.
Find a job that works WITH your system. If you can’t wake up and be functional in the morning then stop trying. Find a job that doesn’t need you to wake up in the morning.
The moment you know you aren’t going to make a deadline, let the client know and again give them an overestimate of time for new deadline. People are always understanding and appreciative for this quick communication.
Stop comparing your output and motivation to others and embrace a slower, more considered, creative one. You are not other people. You are you. Trying to jam your freeform, 12 sided shape into the round hole is painful and won’t work. You don’t need a hole, you need self acceptance.
Learn to say no to taking on things that you know may cause you stress and excess pressure just because it’s money. It is not worth it, just put the boundaries that will save your mental health in the first place and you won’t have to deal with the fallout later. The more you do it, the easier it becomes.
It’s better to turn in an assignment that is 75% done. It’ll drag your grades down less than if you never turned it in
And on that last note, "Anything worth doing is worth doing half-assed"
Visit your school's inclusivity and disability team. They will hopefully have policies for helping people with ADHD
Setup a morning routine + a reset routine. A reset routine is something you do when you're feeling super unfocused.
it’s better to half-ass most things than it is to not do them at all.
If you are Vitamin D deficient then take Vitamin D supplements (see a doctor first). I personally use this! You'll need the K2 as well to absorb the vitamin D properly. Of course you should try to get some real sunshine too, even just if youre by a window. It’ll help your mood and energy levels.
On tough days. Use the 1-thing theory. Just try and accomplish just one-thing for that day.
Set just a few non-negotiable standards and laws for yourself. Pick those that improve your life the most. e.g: No phone in bed at night or in the morning. Not even a quick email check.
Stop taking on excessive routines for skincare, haircare, shaving, and makeup. These rarely do anything but waste time, money, and at worst can comprimise your skin health. Save these things for a special occasion at the very least, because telling yourself you need to do these things regularly will only add to either your exhaustion or create unneeded shame. Turn your routine to less steps, change what you wear to reflect this if you must, and accept that these bloated routines are not going to improve your life in any way. Cleanser, lotion, retinol cream/sunscreen, hairbrush and maybe an elastic, and onto the next thing that needs doing. If you have extra time, then you can either rework a new schedule that gets you more sleep in the future, or figure out something else you want to do or need to get done. My life improved so much when I stopped wasting my time, money, and energy on beauty cultre and focused on my actual physical and mental health. My skin is clearer and my hair looks better too, and my sense of shame is gone now that I don't consider beauty important in my life. No one ever wins when they play this game. You have to refuse to play. Learn to express yourself some other, better way. All you have to lose is your stress! If people are treating you worse because you don't jump through these hoops, they are assholes and you should absolutely call them out on it. Does a mediocre straight white guy put in all this time and money? No! And he does just fine. So why do you need to do these things to feel acceptable for the world? Wouldn't you like to be stronger than that?
I use incense and candles as a way to add another sensory demension to my tasks and relaxation time. I have a specific incense scent just for when I'm getting stuff done, and it totally helps me feel motivated and energized for the tasks.

(Thats a tall burger!)

Of course I can't get out of here without reccomending a couple books, even if I know it's QUITE a doozy to get us to read a whole book. I suggest that if you can, to download one of these ebooks (that I am so graciously giving you a FREE link to, so PLEASE do not narc or show this website to the wrong people or it WILL get taken down!), find a "read aloud" setting or audiobook to listen to with the text present so you can soak up the extra stimulation and process the information easier. it'll be worth it, I promise! These books are not strictly ADHD related but instead really help you better understand the specific issues that pop up over and over again and how to change your approach to them. I hope you get to really enjoy these, because I know I did!

How to Keep House While Drowning Link
Linked in the list above, this book is such a gem for really working through the shame and discomfort that comes from personal and home maintainance tasks when you're neurodivergent. So often I will have an idea for something, for example on this website, and after I type a long word document about how I want it to be, the excited brainstorm ends and the self conscious anxiety begins. It's hard to tell what is unrealistic perfectionism and what is an accurate look at the reality of possible failure. Reading this really helped me work through a lot of that weight I carry when I scan through every little thing I'm unable to do at a certain time and tell myself everyone else on earth can do it and I'm a loser for not being able to. I have been, and will continue to be, someone who does everything ever differently, even down to the details. It's not really a source of pride for me, it scares me a lot and has me always looking at all I do critically and second guessing myself. This book really is so much help for just letting that bullshit go and learning to genuinely celebrate what I am able to do and realize I'm capable of so, so much. I should say this, too, because while this is written by someone with ADHD, and I think that's a great element that makes this VERY worth reading, even using the quicker method, Davis, like most of us, will have some unique elements to her ADHD that you may not resonate with, but please don't let this stop you from reading, because I'm sure you're going to find at least a few things releatable. Honestly that's the thing with ADHD, everyone seems to get a different flavor lol.

Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World Link
I know this one seems a little random, but I really feel like this was a part of my ADHD journey; learning how modern tech has changed to serve the user less, and how to get back to what works for me and matters to me. I know this can seem redundant to a lot of people who are on here for well, a lot of the same reasons Newport was inspired to make this book, but I think there's still so much value in his approach and presentation of the data that it deserves a hard look. Furthermore, I love that he talked about the value of going on walks and adding structure to your social life as a whole; which I feel a lot of neurodivergent people like me respond super well to, because to others it may seem silly to plan out something as organic as socializing, but when your ability to detect cues regarding your needs are shoddy at best, you need to actually plan your time out with people. I read this book with the "read aloud" function on while walking in circles in my old apartment, and let me tell you, I finished the book fast and had a great time reading it!

The Life Changing Magic/Manga of Tidying Up OG Book link
Manga link
My wiiiiife! Okay, Okay, I'll chill. Honestly a lot of people have probably read the book already or feel like they have because they've watched the show. I swear I'm not usually the type to read books about organizing or cleaning (this is only my second one!) but my girl has something special here, even if you never do a single thing she talks about. Learning about this procress is more about learning a valuable philosophy that many of us ADHDers can put to use; "does this actually serve me, or is this an unhealthy attachment that holds me back from what I want in my day to day life?". I will say now, this is also a book about minimalism. You're going to notice the paralells between this and the last one, and yet I still believe you should read as much of it as you can. My favorite part is how she talks about not only saying a heartfelt goodbye to what you discard but a thanks for the service the item gave you, if any. Letting go of things can be so hard when your brain is great at remembering the specifics of how you aquired the item and what the item is capable of doing for you or others. So to give a serious farewell to these items really helped me process a lot of the guilt that kept me from letting go of items that I continued to drag around a fill my space. This is of course, easy to also apply in other ways about things that are not objects, like people or even ideas, and is very central to a authentic minimalist way of life. What minimalism (as a lifestyle) does NOT mean, however, is living without art or color or personal items. You're thinking of the design style which is something else. This isn't about owning less stuff, it's about owning only awesome things that you either need or love. If you love one version of this book, I reccommend reading the other! I think the manga version is a lot of fun, and great if you're a little nervous about the commitment of reading a bigger book.

Books I want to read/am reading that I think may be relevant:

okay well I'll have to get back to you on this one because the zlib servers are down....so no links just yet lol
Art as Therapy link
A Passion For Friends: Toward a Philosophy of Female Affection link
Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence link
Prozac Nation: Young and Depressed in America link
The Science of Boredom: Why Boredom is Good link
The Social Life of Busyness link
Reclaiming Conversation link

This is it for now, but I hope to expand these lists in the future. I'm open to suggestions, and if you'd like to add a book to this list with perhaps a link to your webpage or contact, consider emailing me! Consider how I've written these to be a bit of a template for your submission.

Other manga guides to learning things if you're looking for a fun way to learn:
Relativity
Physiology
Statistics
Physics
The Universe
Biochemistry
There is a lot more! Here's a list of more for you to look through, and if manga isn't your thing there's also the graphic and cartoon guides in there as well.

My favorite interesting and amusing ADHD hacks from this post.

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