Yes, it actually does!
You know, not everything has to be so heavy.
I'm thinking about the Stuff We Forgot. It's not the big stuff, not usually, but the small things that held the day together. I remember when I would go online to find new crafts to make, just to read tutorials made by internet art teachers with little reason to post besides a love for sharing their ideas. I remember how tacky and junky the “upcycling” movement of (mainly women) would have a new semi-viral craft style every week or so, eventually becoming the majority of the Etsy front page once everyone got the knack of it.
I remember Blogger being a big part in making these kind of waves. I even had one! I was so ready to be this Blogger person that lived a unique life and documented it, and somehow got money for that. It was a fun dream! Before Youtube really hit off and before the word “influencer” had something to do with the internet, I was thinking about my brand with no word to really describe what I was doing as aptly. I remember using my old version of Photoshop trying to make logos and all kinds of little web design trinkets for my Blogger account to make it something unique and recognizable. I suppose I'm sort of bringing that back, huh? I don't know if I miss those Frutiger Aero days of being online, because I think all that effort I put into that would have been better spent just making more art and learning more about design and it principles. I guess the same could be said about now, I know my tablet is getting kinda lonely across the room over there, lol.
I remember when I wanted to collect every fashion and art magazine I could back then. I really thought magazines would be forever. I was so inspired by the page layouts. I was also very inspired by the interesting page layouts of manga, which to me really set it apart from any other kinds of comics. I loved thinking that one day I could make my own zine without any rules, about my world and how I saw everything. I thought I could tell people what was cool; movies, music, clothes, fashion, art, and culture all in a book you could flip through to see what spoke to you. I suppose I'm still chasing that in some way. However, I get it now: EVERYONE wants to do this in some form. It's not a new or unique thing to want! But even so, I think we all should get a chance to show off that part of us. That little lifestyle zine maker. We have so many unique perspectives to look through, and even if someone is basically our twin, it's nice to have even more of a perspective that means something to someone. Same is good, different is good, all that's left is to try!
I think it's a bit of a shame at how many influencers are so one-note in their personas because they know it's the easiest way to get popular. I want more weirdos, please! I don't want someone that has more of the same with only one thing to set them apart. I know it's inevitable to be the same as other people in some form. I know that happens naturally. But I doubt it naturally happens this often. I think people are just afraid of being too much. Too scared to tell their peers they may not feel the same about something. Too scared to like something outside of what is predictable for their archetype. Maybe I'm wrong and it's just an insistence to not explore anymore. I don't want anyone to force being who they aren't, but instead just take some time to discover how you really feel about things, discover new things and have some feedback. Give yourself room to grow and learn about new stuff. You can even just feel like a normal person who tries abnormal stuff and finds out it's not for them.
Whatever you are, I worry you can't find that out as easily as it used to be. Perhaps it's because it can be a lot to deal with, knowing you might be unique in a way that isn't fun. In a way that feels like isolation. I promise it gets easier with time and experience. No one seems to say those words anymore. But yes, it does get better. As you get older, it all really does get better when it comes to yourself and living with being yourself. Sometimes it even gets kinda boring because you don't have the same chaos anymore. Sometimes you look at other people in your past, now at the age they were then and wonder what the hell was wrong with them? Maybe you don't wonder that and you get to finally forgive them for what you now understand. Both can be pretty healing, honestly. You're reminded that you're capable, and becoming even more capable each day. The things that used to bother you are now funny. It's pretty cool, and no one gives this encouragement much anymore. What a shame! Who is making money off of kids not knowing things get better! Of knowing things get easier! Why would people my age and older hold this information hostage? I'm going to let you fill in the blanks on this one. (well okay I gotta say a little something...it's something to do with your restlessness, your lack of being content with your life and yourself that sells so many things and makes them SO much money. Okay, okay, I'll shut up!)
Even if you don't want to, you will change. Change is inevitable, it's nothing you can fight, and it's a part of being alive. But what's nice is that you can change for the better so easily and at your own pace. You don't have to change the parts of you that you like, but you will not be able to keep it all the same. This is a good thing, because those things you enjoy can become even more themselves, something stronger with a better foundation, more polished and cherished as time goes forward. You can let go of what drags you, and you can add more of what lifts you. Be excited! Allow yourself to let go of your ideas of how you think the future will turn out to be and just be excited for the growth and the unknown! You deserve the bliss it can bring you. You can feel this bliss and still be preparing for the worst in the future.
(feel free to give your thoughts and responses in the comments!)
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