Some Advice and Good ideas
(at least according to me lol)
- NEVER make fun of someone's laugh. Unless you want to kill any joy they may have had in that moment, and make them scared to ever laugh again. You're being an asshole!
- If you lend something to someone take a picture of them holding the item. Even if you forget you know they're going to worry you never will lol!
- When you walk, you need to look in the direction you're going, to avoid any scuffling, and to appear like you know what you're doing even if you don't. Looking like you're going somewhere usually makes you're harder to stop.
- If you are interested in taking a psychoactive substance, which I know I talk about a lot on here, please take time to research as much as you can about it, and never push yourself to take it anywhere you don't feel supremely comfortable in. Good rule is if you can't get naked there, you shouldn't get high there. Safe, private places that you know you won't be judged for being you in a vulnerable state. Don't be afraid to say no, and say it often. Now watch the way your peers act when you do, and you'll learn more about who's really your friend in that.
- And for whenever you do finally try that stuff you wanted to try, and if you like it enough and feel comfortable taking it at social gatherings, you should say it's your first time lol. The amount of free tokes you'll get (sometimes it doesn't work, take the l and chill) will be worth it! Just act like you're joking if they call you on it. lmao
- To continue I will say that most of us in our lives are surrounded by psychoactive substances, such as caffiene etc. It can be so easy to just say that a certain substance is "bad" or "wrong" in some sense and to take out frustration at disconnect out on those who use it, without really understanding how each of these substances are wildly different from each other, with wildly varying levels of risk, and each person has their own reasons for use. Figure out what ACTUALLY bothers you and what is actually rooted in fact. I'm sorry but your friends being more annoying and hanging out without you isn't a good reason to hate pot smokers. And if I'm being honest, if you have a family member that has had their life destroyed by a substance abuse problem 99% of the time it's not a reason to hate the subtance or other users. I know it can hurt, but learning about the actual chemical response, socioeconomic factors, and even the pyschological factors can help you better understand a lot of what happened. This isn't meant to be blind to the heartache and hurt, but to encourage you to become educated to not only heal but to prevent this from happening again, to other people.
- "You judge others by your actions but you judge yourself by your intentions."
- Arguing on the internet is pointless. Callouts on the internet are pointless. If you see someone online trying to call you out on something, either own up with a "yep, I was wrong." or ignore/block them if you feel you're in the right. You really do not have enough time to suffer a public roasting, and try not to hand them the torch. Sometimes people aren't actually willing to listen to you apologize and just want to see you suffer and turn you into a social pariah. You've got to understand playing into something childish like this will not serve you. Hell, it doesn't even serve them.
- People online are as real as you let them be.
- Stop thinking about tasks as long term investments. Think about how much fun they are, how good they make you feel, maybe it's food that doesn't make you feel bloated, maybe it's an exersize that makes your mind feel better, maybe it's a shower that feels really good and you feel great after. Stop thinking about these as things you have to do to be a good adult and start thinking of them as tasks that ARE the reward, that give immediate or near immediate joy. When you're trying to drop a habit, think of the accumulation of moments you're adding to that change your tragectory. Try and find reasons to dislike the experience the habit gives you. I know that's going to be some work, but at least you've got a blueprint lol.
- When feeling some feelings too much; stretch break. Deep breath. Maybe a sip of water, or tea or what have you. You're still breathing.
- Ask yourself if the person telling you something has the credentials to really know what they're talking about. Even me! I'm just a weirdo on the internet!
- Don't be afraid to say you don't know. You don't have enough information, you don't have the ability to assess the situation at the moment, and even saying you don't have the energy to make a desiscion. All great options that stop you from looking like an idiot with an awful take, and usually saves you from any drama or stress.
- Want to improve your skin? Fragrance free EVERYTHING, and focus on cleanser, mousturizer, sunscreen, and NO MAKEUP AT ALL AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE. I've said that before I know, but it really helps. Also fregrance free detergent and washing your pillowcase, ideally your whole bed set, is a gamechanger. You just keep your face clean and safe and out of the sun and you'll rarely age or break out. When you do, you'll be able to figure out what caused it way easier, usually a monthly cycle thing, lack of sleep, or if your diet is way out of whack.
- always ask yourself: "is this something a mediocre white man would do or care about?" And save yourself hours of time wasted on buccal fat discourse, jumping into shapewear, overthinking a social interaction, sructinizing your body, ect. This does not mean to have the ethics and morals of one, but instead to ask yourself if you're really putting yourself first completely or putting in work into feeding the monsters that will never serve you. Why not just go to the gym, smoke a bowl when you get home and play some video games and allow yourself to not give a fuck for an evening? Maybe instead of buying into this whole "bathbombs, shaving, and meditate" capitalistic self care is just a way to get us to buy stuff and still scrutinize ourselves. Say fuck that and be the type of person who would never even know such a world for an evening. Work out, grab a beer or a steak afterwards, stay off social media and just think about how awesome you are. Pretend if your must. Do all this and get to bed a bit earlier than usual. You can always come back to this mindset. You don't need to feel guilty about centering yourself until you have a capacity to carry everyone's issues. Just remember that you can be this kinda person your whole life and not have to be a dude.
- pactice coping skills when you don't need them regularly. They will remain effective this way.
- Stop caring about physical appearance. You will be ugly and old some day. You might even be ugly now and not realize it. If you can't make it out there without your looks, you're going to crash and burn anyways. No matter what you do you will always be ugly to some people. It's not worth trying and it never will be, so stop acting like it really matters when it never did. If you treat people well because they are attractive then that's your flaw babe. You can still be put together, wear nice outfits, while not caring about if you look attractive to the people you encounter. You're not a model waiting to be discovered, you're not the star of a meet-cute; you're just getting dinner. Have some interesting conversation to give, have a unique style that flatters your personality, have a good outfit or a good haircut but stop thinking people really care that much if your legs are shaved or if your nose looks weird. Find the people who dig you for who you actually are and you'll never have to pretend.
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